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A Master Firewalker’s Take On #MeToo

#MeToo has hit the headlines again, at least in my social media threads it has… An ‘alpha-male’ has been videoed mansplaining #MeToo, and using physical force to do it.  I don’t want to dwell too much on THAT video, but before I give my take on #MeToo I do want to state categorically that, actually, a true alpha-male is the one standing shoulder to shoulder with his woman folk saying “this is not ok“.

What also is not ok is what I saw in the video – here’s why…

Every Woman Has Their Own #MeToo Story

Probably just like you I woke up several months ago to a Facebook full of #MeToos.  As soon as I saw what the campaign was all about I added my #MeToo. Sadly, just like most women I know, it didn’t take me more than a nano-second to realise this campaign was relevant to me – in fact I don’t think I know a single woman that wouldn’t have some cause to state #MeToo, whether they chose to update their status that way or not.

My MAIN #MeToo story, the BIG one, or whatever you like to call it, is related to the indecent assault against me in 2001, which may not be every woman’s experience (thank goodness), but the reality is that if you removed this incident from my life I would still have a dozen dozen more #MeToos to add. I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count the times I’ve been touched without permission, that the man on the packed tube has pushed his boner in my back, or it has been thought ok to discuss my body in ways that really are not ok. I am nothing special, this is the daily experience of being woman

this does not make every woman a victim

but it does mean that being a woman carries with it a certain amount of fear – Is it ok to walk down that dark alley?  Is this top too low to wear to that bar? Will I look silly if I say that this is making me uncomfortable?  Would I be able to protect myself if this goes too far? How far is too far? Is there anyone else around? Can I have a few drinks and let my hair down? Am I safe?

This is the real and tangible fear women have to face every day, in comparison

to suggest that men are justified to be scared to hire pretty women is absurd

but most women will have an inherent fear of being pushed backwards forcibly by a man that will leave them feeling vulnerable, intimidated, and exposed when they witness it, let alone when it happens to them

Why Women #MeTooed

In the video it was claimed that #MeToo was a movement of attack and victimhood… had this person witnessed the same campaign as me?!! Before casting my own opinions, I touched base with some of my friends this morning to ask them what #MeToo meant in their eyes – all pretty regular woman from different walks of life.  This is what they told me…

“I think this current campaign has opened a vortex of Univesal healing and I hope that we can all heal, expand, and transfrom.”

Writing Coach, Dale, from DaleDarley.com

Dale, from Dale Darley.com

 

“I shared stories from the #MeToo movement. I found it awful that people who were touched without consent were hushed up and blamed for what someone else had done to them against their will.  It’s time to show the perpertrators this isn’t banter or laddish behaviour, but assault and it has a lasting negative impact on the person assualted”

Sarah, Marketing Sales Funnels at leadslaunchleverage.com

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“For me #MeToo is all about expression.  Being heard. Not about being numbed or shut down”

PR from Carrie at returnonconnection.com/

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“For me it wasn’t so much for the women to see that another one had something happen, it’s a rare woman to have gone through life without being touched or commented upon without consent.  It was more to highlight to the men in my life and in the world, that often the behaviour they think is laddish is actually really horrible.  And to start a conversation. I’m not interested in vilifying anyone, I want open and honest conversations that educate everyone involved.

Colette, coach at colettereilly.com/

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  • If you’ve taken part in #MeToo why not leave a comment below about what it meant to you?

Resilience

To me #MeToo is all about resilience.  That despite ‘the world’ trying to push us into a box of being victims, of being held in a place of fear, and being constantly encouraged to feel to blame for how we are treated, women are able to reject that path and instead grow stronger because of it.

For women healing becomes a constant process, rebuilding our confidence after a near miss a regular habit, taking the first step into fear such a daily process that most women aren’t even aware they are doing it (believe me as a firewalker, woman are more ready to step up to the fear, and there’s a reason for that…).

#MeToo is not about being a victim, it’s about being strong, courageous, and open-hearted despite being victimised.

No Names Mentioned

The vast (very, very very, vast) majority of women who have added their voice to the #MeToo campaign have given no mention to the perpetrators of acting with lack of consent towards them.  For many women there is simply a long stream of nameless men involved, but this also reflects that the campaign is actually about drawing attention to the female experience, not naming and shaming.  If you’re a true alpha-male you’ll have witnessed #MeToo and felt a need to say nothing more than ‘I hear you’.

There is no attack in #MeToo

For those that find themselves seeking attack within those two small words, maybe some self-reflection of why #MeToo might be bring up feelings of attack for you is called for. Sadly for many men, alpha or otherwise, #MeToo will bring about a need to say ‘I hear you, and I’m sorry’.

Apology Isn’t Admission Of Guilt

It’s okay to say sorry

As a Master Firewalker I would like to apologise that another firewalker has said these things, and behaved in this way.  It is not what I would want to be associated with Firewalking, something that actually has the potential to roll out love, healing, and magic, around the world, rather than the hurt and disillusionment, this has caused.

Saying sorry for when you witness pain and suffering taking place is ok.  It doesn’t have to be your fault, or you may have caused it unintentionally, or even just in the past.  Giving an apology for that is a meaningful response all the same.

The next time you witness a woman give a #MeToo, try it.

Being Heard

Ultimately #MeToo is about having a voice. About the female experience being seen for what it is, and about that being recognised as simply that.

Mansplaining #MeToo is not required 

The majority of women who took part in #MeToo will know exactly what it meant to them, maybe each woman has a slightly different experience, or went through a slightly different choice process before they put their hashtag up – but only they will know that. We need to recognise that #MeToo is made up of thousands of different voices, and the most important thing here is for each voice to be heard. For each individual to be able to make their #MeToo statement for their own reasons without being told that they are wrong.

What’s been your #MeToo experience?  Leave a comment to let me know what the campaign means to you.

PS 

If you’re wondering what all the fuss is about you may not have seen the video in question which is currently on YouTube

PPS

If you’d like to find out more about Firewalking, and how you could use it as a tool for love, empowerment, and transformation, you can find all you need to know here

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Lottie Moore

Living life outside of the comfort zone - why don't you join me?
I support people to look beyond their limitations, to find a space where adventure meets inner peace
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